Do you have something that makes you jump out of bed every morning?
Do you have something that you can call your own, be it a calling, a job or a hobby?
I've come to the realisation that there's not much that is worse than the feeling of being a firecracker but with no fire. A battery without electricity passing through it. So much potential, but not used. Unused, misused abused. Everyday I feared crossing this bridge where I would have to conquer feelings of such misdirection, but now I have arrived this much feared low. As one would expect, it is an excruciatingly horrible and painful feeling. It's not tangible and there may not be a cause nor a solution.
So I live, and I continue living. I live feeling grateful for the blessings in my life, and I live knowing that I am still loved despite my shortcomings and my very low, lows. I live for the force that brought me onto this earth and that pumped breath into my being.
I will keep trying to fight this battle and pray that one day I will realise what it is that will make me bounce out of the covers every morning and live the life I want to live.
Take care.
